My Fear- What Am I Afraid Of?

Aloha my friends!  This Hawaiian greeting is appropo as it conveys affection, peace, compassion, mercy, and hospitality- my wishes for you today!  As for me….




But first, back in 2006 I was about 35 pounds heavier and really unhappy/uncomfortable about the way I felt and the way I looked. The number my body was holding onto did not feel like “me.” I was physically hanging out in a soft and squishy place, but my ethos was nestled in a different spot, somewhere stronger, healthier, happier, smarter and more energized. The outer Kiki did not match the inner Kiki, this was a real problem for me. So that year, oh my goodness it has been ten years- a decade ago that I decided to switch from soft and squishy to my “Kefi”ethos. In August that year, upon arriving home from Greece, my personal sound mind/healthy body personal journey began, when for the first time ever, I hired a personal trainer to teach me how to get healthy and stay healthy. I thought I would hit the bulls eye by the end of that year.




The first person I worked with got me close to my goal, but then a change occurred and I had to start over with someone new. The end of the year became the beginning of next year, and then every two years I would work with a different trainer due to life circumstances. Was it circumstances, information, my desire or fate that would keep me from reaching my simple goal and pairing me with a new person each time? I sincerely believe what Lisa, my sensei, told me,  “Things work out when YOU are ready for them, and the people to help you get those things will come into your life at that point and time.” This analogy inadvertently set the course of my journey and with the people helping me achieve my goal. Since that time, and to this day, I have worked with and learned from 7 educated and fitness/nutrition trained professionals. Each person worked with me and trained me to the best of their ability. You may ask yourself, why has it taken Kiki so long and why is she still working with all these people? The answer is twofold: one is because while I have made significant emotional/physical strides, I simply did not reach the finish line of my original goal. The past decade taught me a ton, and I am definitely in a better/stronger place, with numerous minor fluctuations, but still in all I have not exactly achieved my personal goal that was set in 2006, hence the continuation of this chapter, which will not be concluded until the number is reached. PERIOD. The second thought about this ridiculous amount of time to reach my goal is that learning and living a lifestyle is similar to the 10,000 rule, which is to work at something that many times before you master it.


Fast forward to today, this day, when I was doing my NASM workout with Jill, number 7 in the litany of trainers/nutritionists. Before the workout started, she put me to the mental test. After fifteen months of working together she said, “What is it going to take to get you to the next level, a level that takes you to the finish line?” This question scared me because I’ve been so close for so long and I keep dropping the ball when I’m about 50 meters from finish. I got to thinking….




Attaining my physical goal, which I set in 2006, is in direct correlation to my professional purpose. All these years I have been driving and working for something that I was not prepared to entirely embrace and so I kept myself a little soft. Sounds crazy doesn’t it, but too close, too many times has its reasons. Mind you my pilot light has been lit this entire time, just shining a little dimmer than it should be.  Living and doing the process all these years has brought me to this day- the day that I must kick it up a notch.  I am ready to act differently, and I fully understand and embrace the notion that achieving the lean, strong and healthy body I deserve will accelerate my ability to maintain the necessary discipline to write the last chapter of this book and move forward into the next exciting novel of my life.



It’s time to stare fear in the face and say….I’m really ready for this! I can do this. I have amassed the experience for phase Kefi! I’m tightening my belt, changing the dance moves and taking the lead. Perfection is not my target, however focus, discipline, preparedness, continued learning, and time management are my allies. My lean, strong and healthy body is not a distant dream, but it is within arm’s reach and in direct correlation to the demands/discipline of my production company. Each require dedication, perseverance, mental toughness and commitment! OK- bring it on Kiki Vale.

Regarding my weight, only nine pounds to go, and those suckers  have been looming on my frame for seven months – but I’ll dump them taking it 21 days at a time.



Meal plan every night for the next day

Each meal includes : a protein, a carb and a healthy fat

When dining out make and eat the cleanest of choices

Eat the proper amount of food and the right combo of food

Drink 8- 10 glasses of water each day

Log every morsel of food into My Fitness Pal- the tracking method I use

Do every workout assigned

Avoid alcohol

Avoid the white devil- SUGAR

Get a little uncomfortable and enjoy it

Stay on track

Remind myself that I have the nutritional tools and confidence to complete my mission


What I lose is what I gain!

Whatever your journey is today, if it matters, if it is important and if you must take it, by all means….



Your’s in Kefi,



Kiki is a master interviewer with 25 years broadcasting on Kansas City and Chicago radio. She was a prevalent force at WMAQ & WBBM radio where she was the first female airborne news/traffic reporter in the "Windy City". Kiki’s voiceover work has garnered her Omni awards for Evian water and Coca-Cola commercials. These days Kiki enjoys energizing audiences on stage during motivational speaking engagements, and through writing. Her highly regarded “Kefi-That Life Force” column, was published previously in The Greek Star. She’s currently working on her first non-fiction book. [ View all posts ]